You Should Scream
Once while I was living in D.C. I had to call the Fire Department to get me off my roof.
My house was a brick two-story colonial with a regularly pitched roof. I had gone up there on a ladder to attach an antenna to the chimney for my FM tuner. But no sooner had I gotten up there when I saw that I had made a big mistake in my choice of footwear. I had no traction on the shingles, or "purchase," as Paul Brown, the legendary coach of the Cleveland Browns, called it. So, unable to get back safely to the ladder, I struggled up to the ridge and then along the ridge to the chimney. The house had a working fireplace. I yelled down it to my wife to call the Fire Department.
I was wearing bowling shoes, and their extra-smooth soles, added to my fear of heights, was the problem. I had taken to wearing them around the house after I had discovered that bowling was yet another sport at which I had no aptitude. Thinking at first, however, that I would be the next 10-pins champ, I had invested in the right equipment, and that included the shoes and also a ball with the holes drilled in a special way, the (something)-Bates method. Getting the right equipment is the second thing I do when I go into a new activity. The first is that I pile up a small library on it. But now that I think about it, that is probably exactly the reason why I failed at bowling. I didn't buy one book on the subject. Incredible!
The firemen came quickly and threw up a ladder that hooked on to the ridge, and I climbed down safely, with extreme relief that I would be able to live a little longer, with nothing broken. It happened so fast that none of my neighbors saw it.
I ignored the bored and disdainful looks on the faces of the firemen, nor did I pay much attention either to the remarks of one of my best friends later. He said he would've stayed up there till doomsday before he called the fire department. I informed him that I was a Zen Buddhist (a slight exaggeration) and that one of the things that Zen teaches is that when something hurts you, you should scream. Screw the macho bull!
My house was a brick two-story colonial with a regularly pitched roof. I had gone up there on a ladder to attach an antenna to the chimney for my FM tuner. But no sooner had I gotten up there when I saw that I had made a big mistake in my choice of footwear. I had no traction on the shingles, or "purchase," as Paul Brown, the legendary coach of the Cleveland Browns, called it. So, unable to get back safely to the ladder, I struggled up to the ridge and then along the ridge to the chimney. The house had a working fireplace. I yelled down it to my wife to call the Fire Department.
I was wearing bowling shoes, and their extra-smooth soles, added to my fear of heights, was the problem. I had taken to wearing them around the house after I had discovered that bowling was yet another sport at which I had no aptitude. Thinking at first, however, that I would be the next 10-pins champ, I had invested in the right equipment, and that included the shoes and also a ball with the holes drilled in a special way, the (something)-Bates method. Getting the right equipment is the second thing I do when I go into a new activity. The first is that I pile up a small library on it. But now that I think about it, that is probably exactly the reason why I failed at bowling. I didn't buy one book on the subject. Incredible!
The firemen came quickly and threw up a ladder that hooked on to the ridge, and I climbed down safely, with extreme relief that I would be able to live a little longer, with nothing broken. It happened so fast that none of my neighbors saw it.
I ignored the bored and disdainful looks on the faces of the firemen, nor did I pay much attention either to the remarks of one of my best friends later. He said he would've stayed up there till doomsday before he called the fire department. I informed him that I was a Zen Buddhist (a slight exaggeration) and that one of the things that Zen teaches is that when something hurts you, you should scream. Screw the macho bull!
posted by Carl (aka Sofarsogoo) | 10:39 PM
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