The Ultimate Wise Man -- Google
I love to ask Google questions. Half the time I just want to see what it will say, because I've found, as have you all, I would think, that no matter what you ask, generally it will find something to say that is even to your point.
This morning was one of those rare times when it didn't quite ring the bell.
After waking I found a large spider skulking near the drainage hole of our bathroom sink -- a common occurrence around here.
I must not have been in my most merciful mood. Instead I fauceted water on him till he was gone. Still, that took longer than usual because this one was unusually adept at regaining his footing and making more attempts to scramble out of there.
Later that got me into a conversation with my wife, E., in which we wondered for the umpteenth time why such entities can never simply walk up out of the kitchen and bathroom sinks. They can go anywhere else they please, can't they? And I said, "It looks like we still have a lot of things to learn about our fellow creatures around here."
And a moment later I added, "Maybe we should ask Google about that."
And a little later still I did ask Google, "Why Can't Roaches and Spiders Climb Out of the Bathroom Sink?"
This time, however, Google stumbled, and all it could offer was a bunch of selections from various things that referred to various words in my question and not at all to the gist of it.
Still, I think Google is an incredible resource, and we are lucky to have it at our disposal, when we are not too lazy or on too much of a high horse to use it.
Think of how much better off we are than all men and women of previous eras, because here we have what amounts to the Ultimate Wise Man, and he is always at our beck and call with all the information gathered through the ages, and without us having to offer this vast fount of knowledge even so much as a used acorn.
Still there is one question that I would never ask him, her, them, or it, and that is, "What is the meaning of life?"
That question is so monumentally stupid, and the answer is so glaringly obvious, that it's idiotic even to ask it, and I have no interest in seeing anything that Google, in all its machine eagerness to reply (17.6 seconds, 117,672,895 references), might want to slop on us.
.
This morning was one of those rare times when it didn't quite ring the bell.
After waking I found a large spider skulking near the drainage hole of our bathroom sink -- a common occurrence around here.
I must not have been in my most merciful mood. Instead I fauceted water on him till he was gone. Still, that took longer than usual because this one was unusually adept at regaining his footing and making more attempts to scramble out of there.
Later that got me into a conversation with my wife, E., in which we wondered for the umpteenth time why such entities can never simply walk up out of the kitchen and bathroom sinks. They can go anywhere else they please, can't they? And I said, "It looks like we still have a lot of things to learn about our fellow creatures around here."
And a moment later I added, "Maybe we should ask Google about that."
And a little later still I did ask Google, "Why Can't Roaches and Spiders Climb Out of the Bathroom Sink?"
This time, however, Google stumbled, and all it could offer was a bunch of selections from various things that referred to various words in my question and not at all to the gist of it.
Still, I think Google is an incredible resource, and we are lucky to have it at our disposal, when we are not too lazy or on too much of a high horse to use it.
Think of how much better off we are than all men and women of previous eras, because here we have what amounts to the Ultimate Wise Man, and he is always at our beck and call with all the information gathered through the ages, and without us having to offer this vast fount of knowledge even so much as a used acorn.
Still there is one question that I would never ask him, her, them, or it, and that is, "What is the meaning of life?"
That question is so monumentally stupid, and the answer is so glaringly obvious, that it's idiotic even to ask it, and I have no interest in seeing anything that Google, in all its machine eagerness to reply (17.6 seconds, 117,672,895 references), might want to slop on us.
.
posted by Carl (aka Sofarsogoo) | 11:58 AM
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