What Not to Kiss

The excellent History Channel program called "Meteors: Fire in the Sky" got me to thinking once more about one of my favorite objects of speculation, the highly venerated and constantly kissed object in Mecca called the Kaaba. This object appears to be a large meteorite, about which little is known and not just to me, as to its exact size and whether it is stone or metal or whether it is even a meteorite at all.

I used to think that the Mecca priests could at least release a tiny chip of the Kaaba to the Western scientists who would love to determine the stone's age, derivation, composition, and other features of interest, but so far they have had to absolutely forget about that. But I now think that the Kaaba should be allowed to continue to sit there as is, heavily wreathed in mystery. It is far more interesting that way. Besides I already know what it is and what happened.

Eons ago, before religions were invented, the Kaaba plopped down somewhere in Arabia with a huge thud and probably made a big impression on the creatures feeding in what were probably lush forests in those days. It is metallic rather than stone, and several daggers were chopped out of it before people in the theology game decided that the object was much more valuable for its heavenly evocations, and the rest is history.

So now,like far too many Moslem women, the Kaaba sits veiled inside a sqiarish and very solid-looking block of a building, around which, as shown by overhead shots, pilgrims circulate in a mass counter-clockwise movement that, for more than one reason, gives me the willies. And even inside this building only a few square inches of the Kaaba are exposed, through an extremely stout ring of what looks like solid stainless steel, and into its barely head-sized hole pilgrims get a few seconds each to poke their faces and kiss the object.

For the infinitesimally little that it's worth, I have no problem with the concept. If you're going to venerate something, it might as well be a meteorite or large, hewn blocks of stone as anything else -- though, as I've often said, for that purpose the Sun makes the most sense. But I do question the wisdom of kissing anything that has received and is still receiving the kisses of millions of others. But maybe I'm just peculiar that way. I tend to be particular about what I kiss, and I thought most people are that way, though the mental processes tend to shut down when it comes to faith. It's essential to take special care when you're talking about the one orifice through which all the food and drink that keep you alive and whistling enter your body. It's hard enough to stay aware of what is really edible and drinkable and what is not, let alone putting the edges of your intake port to some profligately kissed places.

For that reason I can't help wondering about the Kaaba and the Wailing Wall just a few miles away in Jerusalem. Isn't it interesting how the faithful of these two religions that are at such daggerpoints with each other should indulge in exactly the same custom. And even Christianity has not escaped, though not nearly to the same extent. But isn't there some sort of custom about kissing the ring of the Pope?

I could be wrong, but my guess is that only men are allowed to kiss the Kaaba. If so, though they would never admit it to their domineering menfolk, Muslim women must be relieved out of their skulls that the same is not expected of them. Because, with all the lip substances that are deposited daily on the meteorite and on the wall (if they are truly kissed), isn't a disease danger always a factor?

I guess that's all taken care of, however. They probably have a whole corps of individuals in place to keep things cleaned off and sanitary, and more than five times a day, too! Still I would heavily doubt that I'm the only one to harbor such unpopular reservations, regardless.