Aunt
Yesterday that rude, loud, startling, disruptive, and insistent instrument that we tolerate having in our homes, the telephone, brought into my house and my consciousness the voice of a woman who, as if to spare me the burden of not knowing even for a split-second who she was, in more than one respect, instantly identified herself as "your Aunt Peggy." She did not, of course, want to talk to me. She was looking for my wife, unaware that at the moment Esther is right down there in Florida with her, not much over a hundred miles away, and the two of them are probably vegetating in the same manner -- waiting to see what Tropical Storm Fay is going to do while zoning out all day long on the Olympics on TV
I recognized the name and the title. This woman is a sister of my wife's late father, and during childhood she used this technicality of being Esther's aunt, along with having been born eight days earlier, to try to boss my future wife around, only to meet fierce and unrelenting resistance, though I'm told that that has long since been patched up.
But all that has nothing at all to do with me anyway. The main thing is that this lady is not MY aunt, and it occurs to me that I am as much as four decades overdue in impressing on her that fact.
The obligations involved with one's own family are daunting enough. A man shouldn't have to accept having all the titles, relationships, and other complexities of another family dumped on him just because of marriage. So I don't recognize the custom. I wonder how many people do?
Besides, no aunt or uncle has the right to be younger than a niece or nephews, and if the laws had any connection with logic and common sense, that would be so decreed.
I only had one aunt, and she left here back in the 1950's. My mother also had two other sisters, and they might've been my aunts if they had waited long enough, but they couldn't and didn't, starting years before I was born, and that was it, period, finished, over and done with.
So, as much as I might appreciate her feeling such a close connection to me, though I can remember having seen her only once, a woman who drew her first breath more than 10 years after I did and who shares none of my ancestors couldn't possibly be my aunt. It's ridiculous ...and a little eerie.
I recognized the name and the title. This woman is a sister of my wife's late father, and during childhood she used this technicality of being Esther's aunt, along with having been born eight days earlier, to try to boss my future wife around, only to meet fierce and unrelenting resistance, though I'm told that that has long since been patched up.
But all that has nothing at all to do with me anyway. The main thing is that this lady is not MY aunt, and it occurs to me that I am as much as four decades overdue in impressing on her that fact.
The obligations involved with one's own family are daunting enough. A man shouldn't have to accept having all the titles, relationships, and other complexities of another family dumped on him just because of marriage. So I don't recognize the custom. I wonder how many people do?
Besides, no aunt or uncle has the right to be younger than a niece or nephews, and if the laws had any connection with logic and common sense, that would be so decreed.
I only had one aunt, and she left here back in the 1950's. My mother also had two other sisters, and they might've been my aunts if they had waited long enough, but they couldn't and didn't, starting years before I was born, and that was it, period, finished, over and done with.
So, as much as I might appreciate her feeling such a close connection to me, though I can remember having seen her only once, a woman who drew her first breath more than 10 years after I did and who shares none of my ancestors couldn't possibly be my aunt. It's ridiculous ...and a little eerie.
posted by Carl (aka Sofarsogoo) | 8:01 AM
2 Comments:
You didn't say whether you had explained all this to "Aunt Peggy"
My Ex's parents kept reproducing long after it would have been prudent to stop (and after the Pill was available). His oldest brother is 2 months older than my mom and the baby of the family is 5 years younger than I am. Mike's kids are all many years older than the youngest and, technically, if you count that whole related by marriage thing, I was a great aunt before the age of 25. I didn't count it, especially since I had never laid eyes on those people!
And then there is my son, who is 19, and his baby sister, who is 9 months old. Hopefully she will be in double digits before he has kids, but that is a large spread and technically, he could be having kids now. (please please please please NO!)
Hi. I had wondered what a strong family woman like you might think.
My wife doesn't go along with me on this, and has no intention of telling "my Aunt Peggy," as I have never bothered to do either. But there haven't been that many opportunities. She had a sister who used to do the same thing, but she has somehow phased out of it.
My wife has the impression most people think the same as her family, including people in my own family, who she says call her "Aunt."
But during our phone talk last night she did remind me that recently we had seen a Latino film in which an angry wife tells her husband in no uncertain terms that "(Such and such) is YOUR cousin! He's not mine!" My wife must've been a little touched and maybe even surprised to see somebody actually sharing my attitude on this.
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