The GWBush Presidential Library
I heard a couple of very nasty rumors this year.
One is that, many thousands of deaths later, after the attacks he ordered on Afghanistan and Iraq -- two considerably smaller countries whose armies had not attacked the U.S. -- GWBush has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. Apparently a rightist member of the Nobel committee threw his name in the hopper.
That was months ago, but hardly anyone jumped on it one way or the other, and little if anything is heard about it now. Can it be that even Bush's staunchest supporters realize how ridiculous that is?
The other nasty rumor -- well, I guess actually it is an absolute certainty, since so many of the other guys have one -- is that there will be a GW Bush Presidential Library.
Maybe work on it has already started.
I don't know where it will be. It is too much to hope that it will be where his ranch is, in a place called Crawford, Texas. If it is, people will feel fully justified in not going there, and they will be relieved.
Crawford, Texas sounds to me like one of those places that ordinarily you would never find unless you were on your way to somewhere else.
I live in just such a spot.
...Well, even if you were looking for it, you wouldn't notice this place where I live anyway, but by this time the piles of bulldung deposited by the Bush crew in and around Crawford, Texas must have grown to such Himalayan proportions that they can be seen from 50 miles away.
Isn't a GWBush Library a huge contradiction in terms, given his admission that he doesn't read?
The most intriguing question is, will there be anything in it that he himself wrote? If so, I guess those documents will be kept in a very special room -- and a VERY SMALL one!
The GWBush Presidential Library will be filled instead with the emanations of luminaries who work with him, towering minds like Donald Rumsfeld, Condoleeza Rice, Andrew Card, Karl Rove, Richard Perle, Paul Wolfowitz, and others.
Wow-wie!
I can think, however, of one truly great and exquisite use for the GWBush Presidential Library, and I will present it here and now. You are warned, though. I expect to be paid good money for this idea!
A most fitting punishment for Saddam Hussein, who is soon to be tried, as retribution for all his terrible crimes against humanity, would be to be shut him up inside the GW Bush Presidential Library, indefinitely.
Don't worry, all you would-be GWBush scholars. It wouldn't really be put to that use for long. If all the windows were blocked off, and no music was played, and Saddam was in there absolutely alone, on a diet only of eggplant and Coca-Cola, and he was required to go through all the tomes and files shelf by shelf on the penalty of starvation and write weekly reports, it wouldn't be a year before he would have to be carried out of there, his mind permanently shredded and with every part of him wracked by the most unbearable pain -- or more likely he would have chosen the other way out.
On the other hand, however, when he gets to the Saddam Hussein files, Saddam Hussein may get months of huge chuckles out of that instead.
All right! Forget I ever proposed that!
However, if the GWBush Presidential Library does accomplish one other thing, then its construction will have been more than justified.
Hopefully its example will put a long-needed end to the dreadful , inexplicable, and kneejerk custom of building Presidential libraries.
Quick! Raise your hands. How many of you have ever been to one?
One is that, many thousands of deaths later, after the attacks he ordered on Afghanistan and Iraq -- two considerably smaller countries whose armies had not attacked the U.S. -- GWBush has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. Apparently a rightist member of the Nobel committee threw his name in the hopper.
That was months ago, but hardly anyone jumped on it one way or the other, and little if anything is heard about it now. Can it be that even Bush's staunchest supporters realize how ridiculous that is?
The other nasty rumor -- well, I guess actually it is an absolute certainty, since so many of the other guys have one -- is that there will be a GW Bush Presidential Library.
Maybe work on it has already started.
I don't know where it will be. It is too much to hope that it will be where his ranch is, in a place called Crawford, Texas. If it is, people will feel fully justified in not going there, and they will be relieved.
Crawford, Texas sounds to me like one of those places that ordinarily you would never find unless you were on your way to somewhere else.
I live in just such a spot.
...Well, even if you were looking for it, you wouldn't notice this place where I live anyway, but by this time the piles of bulldung deposited by the Bush crew in and around Crawford, Texas must have grown to such Himalayan proportions that they can be seen from 50 miles away.
Isn't a GWBush Library a huge contradiction in terms, given his admission that he doesn't read?
The most intriguing question is, will there be anything in it that he himself wrote? If so, I guess those documents will be kept in a very special room -- and a VERY SMALL one!
The GWBush Presidential Library will be filled instead with the emanations of luminaries who work with him, towering minds like Donald Rumsfeld, Condoleeza Rice, Andrew Card, Karl Rove, Richard Perle, Paul Wolfowitz, and others.
Wow-wie!
I can think, however, of one truly great and exquisite use for the GWBush Presidential Library, and I will present it here and now. You are warned, though. I expect to be paid good money for this idea!
A most fitting punishment for Saddam Hussein, who is soon to be tried, as retribution for all his terrible crimes against humanity, would be to be shut him up inside the GW Bush Presidential Library, indefinitely.
Don't worry, all you would-be GWBush scholars. It wouldn't really be put to that use for long. If all the windows were blocked off, and no music was played, and Saddam was in there absolutely alone, on a diet only of eggplant and Coca-Cola, and he was required to go through all the tomes and files shelf by shelf on the penalty of starvation and write weekly reports, it wouldn't be a year before he would have to be carried out of there, his mind permanently shredded and with every part of him wracked by the most unbearable pain -- or more likely he would have chosen the other way out.
On the other hand, however, when he gets to the Saddam Hussein files, Saddam Hussein may get months of huge chuckles out of that instead.
All right! Forget I ever proposed that!
However, if the GWBush Presidential Library does accomplish one other thing, then its construction will have been more than justified.
Hopefully its example will put a long-needed end to the dreadful , inexplicable, and kneejerk custom of building Presidential libraries.
Quick! Raise your hands. How many of you have ever been to one?
posted by Carl (aka Sofarsogoo) | 7:00 PM
4 Comments:
In fairness to Crawford, TX, I believe their mayor is a Democrat, and I know for a fact their State Representative is a Democrat. Not everyone in Crawford is happy with Mr. Bush.
The closest I've been to a presidential library was to that of LBJ, in Austin, on the UT campus. It is across the street from the music building. I've attended a couple of summer music workshops in that building, and researched a couple of concerts for the late lamented Houston Baroque Ensemble in its music library. The proximity of the presidential library had no effect on the resulting concerts that I could discern.
Considering Bush's reluctance to read, I would think that his presidential library might be housed in a very small space indeed.
Nobel nomination isn't really a big deal. Lots of crazy nominations are made every year.
As for presidential libraries, isn't it a *law* that every president gets a federally funded library? I'm not saying it makes sense, but I think it is an old, old act of congress.
Anyway, I've been to the Eisenhower library. Boooo-ring.
Well, thinking about possible entries in the Dubya Libary... we can be sure that "My Pet Goat" will belong to the collection. And maybe the Major League Baseball statistics book (I think it comes in several volumes).
The "Outfoxed" film has a funny sequence about the Reagan presidential library, which Fox had tried to hype up on Reagan's birthday one year. The place looked as small as a custard stand and its only visitors that day appeared to be a group of 4th graders.
Why don't these right-wing airheads whose campaign war chests hideously overmatch the funding of libraries in the U.S. just stick to having battleships and weapons systems named after them?
I've been to the Jimmy Carter library - I loved it, but then I'm a fan.
Perhaps it would be more useful if they just replaced the "Men" sign on the men's restroom at the Poppy library with "Junior".
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